single (:

2012-02-08T10:14:00.005+08:00

just heard from steph both clara and her will be going canada and fel, taiwan.

wonder how my next sem will be like, w/o them.

tgt w the guys, they'r like my only hang-out friends in ntu thats how 'big' my social circle is.

and i'm almost always clueless abt what t do, what modules t clear etc. always cant be bothered.

how am i going t survive w/o them :/

big sighhh. sure going t miss them

2012-01-20T09:26:00.003+08:00

appealllllllllllllllllllllllllll, why you no grant me success?!
now no core how?! :(

on a side note, i jsut retrieved my slipper today! :D

2012-01-17T23:25:00.003+08:00

pretty upset for awhile today it got me crying.
was boarding the train at buona vista station. think i even set one foot on the train alr.
then the unexpected happened.
someone kicked my slipper down t the railway track.
the f word totally came out i mean, nvr have i expected sth like that could happen t me.
went out of the train w just one slipper on feeling totally lost just wanted t find the red peeps.
went back up the escalator t the control station but didnt receive much assurance.
took down my contacts, told me she will pass t the night shift staff. but also added sth like if they cant retrieve it i can only just get a new pair.
felt pretty helpless cause the info i provided wasnt exactly useful too. i wasnt sure at that time if i dropped it on the train or into the railway track (i know its the latter aft i saw it between the gaps when i boarded the next train :()
theres stares inevitably but heck, seriously just hope they'll call me tmr morningggg. let me retrieve it please please please.

on a side note and just for memory purpose since it seldom happens, cooked myself a packet of noodles for supper

2011-12-21T00:01:00.004+08:00

just a pretty short post t rant about my skin cause its itching yet again :(

really really hate the condition of my skin since the rashes.
ever since, i am afraid, really, everytime my skin gets itchy and comes out the bumps and red patches.
i am really really afraid most of the time history will repeat itself which had been a super super tough period for me.
recalling, i rmbr the times i broke down just because i felt really helpless, just because going t doctors doesnt work and the rashes doesnt go away after weeks, and eventually a month went by.
it was terrible. really, w a swollen face all of a sudden for no reason, super duper dry itchy skin which drops 'flakes' wherever i go, and the itchness.. was just totally unbearable.

please please, jsut dont ever let me experience it again. please

2011-12-12T00:09:00.001+08:00

short and sweet post (:

another. day. of. waste. today.

2011-12-10T22:54:00.003+08:00

yi ge shagged day.
went pasir ris east cc alone t watch silat matches.
and again, was lost while trying t find my way there. totally zZ
even though i didnt talk much t the rest or even barely spoke since they were all communicating in their mother tongue and we arent that close, i did pretty much enjoyed my time there.
from watching the matches - especially hariz who is soooooooooooooooooooo duper cute, the more exciting adult (seemingly around my age?) matches and also freestyle matches which is really really fierceee.
left early and headed back t home (:

on a side note, got reminded on how guys are especially in their secondary school days cause of aziz and indra w their teasing and all.

also realise i am pretty anti-social afterall.

2011-12-09T23:30:00.001+08:00

stayed home friday.
hence aka my rotting day.
stone-sleep-snack-tv-sleep-snack-tv- - - -.

was thinking thru a lil yest night while browsing through a few photos. a friend's photos.
i realise, everyone really live life a different manner.
there are ppl, who are trying t quit smoking, but there are also some, who are smoking, i guess without the mentality t quit?
sometimes it really hurts a lil i guess, t see a friend changed, picking up the bad habits that werent there when you guys once hang out together.
even though we arent close for quite some time alr or have never ever been really close, there's still a tinge of helplessness felt.

2011-12-08T23:20:00.002+08:00

movie not-yet-marathon at np today.
haha travelled allllllllllllllll the way t clementi just t watch two movies w kee.
- one of my GREAT ideas cause of bored moments i guess.
caught tuesdays w morrie and the time traveller's wife.
then dinner together w isk back at the google place - tpy
kinda rush
then headed t my longgg mia silat (:
weak

2011-11-25T18:50:00.002+08:00

felt really depressed late last night.
145am, made the decision t mc 210.
the feeling really suck big time cause it was sooo bloody last minute.
i've completed 35% of the module alr - w a quiz that i copied and a group research paper.
i've tried t study for it.
and t make it worse, it was so easy for me t straight away thought of the alternative t mc when i saw the practice qns (it'd stunned me totally and demoralised me ttm)

conclusion: time wasted, 4aus gone, ifeelprettymuchlikeaquitter.
but yes, no use crying over spilt milk. really hope its the first and last time i need t mc a paper.

2011-10-01T18:45:00.001+08:00

whats.wrong.
wheres all the endless conversations we once had?

2011-06-09T01:53:00.002+08:00

just a lil more than depressed and helpless.
neighbour, , now super poor results.
summing my life in two words at this very moment- messed up.

2010-12-14T18:29:00.002+08:00

a cut on my fat left thigh at movie mob.
add two small cuts on my fat left thigh from homeeeee.

i really should start packgg.

2010-12-11T03:11:00.000+08:00

MOVIE MOB@F1 PIT
supper-ed :D

2010-12-05T23:48:00.002+08:00

i really need t start mugggging.
let me be like him please.
starrrrrrrrrrt!

2010-12-02T21:53:00.001+08:00

sometimes, the past just haunts.

2010-11-14T22:43:00.002+08:00

FML

2010-11-10T22:56:00.002+08:00

the night i squat shit-stirrer's hall (:

2010-10-04T21:43:00.001+08:00

JP-ed w. stephanie, clara & felicia for awhile.
ride on clara's van :DDD

2010-10-02T01:48:00.000+08:00

MOVIE MOB @ TAMP !
my first official experience at sellg candy floss.
even thou its w. jeff's help &there's only a few customers,
still enjoyed myself (;

ohh, &personally, salutes t ismail & jeff for their damn decent-lookg candy floss which is totally opposite of mine. heh.

2010-09-28T23:20:00.004+08:00

random but i missed seeing 'the blissful family' suddenly ://
---
keeee, i miss them!!

lunched w. eloise & friends (:

2010-09-27T22:22:00.000+08:00

- this is just a random post, 2 realization&reminders t self (: -

home aft jp-ing w. ampan for awhile.

& i realise, 6+pm is definitely not a good time t take trains.

squeeeze squeeze cramp cramp squeeze!

&worse thing, no seats on green line.

though its only a 25min thereabt journey, but still! haha.

found a seat on purple line though. *eyes shine from the satisfaction*

2nd thing,

i need t start checkg edventure regularly from now on!!!

especially for intro to stats tutorial.

shant be caught unprepared &had t present my friend's answer anymore.

2010-09-26T20:10:00.001+08:00

home home home (:

2010-09-25T23:33:00.001+08:00

- this is just a hongxi-talkg-t-herself post-

note t self: mum abandoned me & go msia alone ://

---

sighh, i'm going t miss her even thou its only for a fewwwww days.

washing etc, dad's responsibilities? haha!

---

but i bet she's missing me as her companion on the coach as well since she haven went back alone for quite some time.

---

sighhhh, i want t goooooo! :/

ooooh, but on a side note, lee min ho is GOOOOOD-LOOOKG!! :DDD

haha. going head over heels for him again (&i'm def. missing wongliqin, my go-crazy-over-leeminho-tgt friend! :XX)

but i hope this craze dies down soooooon if not i bet keeee wont be able t tolerate me anymore. jeeez (:

2010-09-11T23:00:00.001+08:00

fried rice paradise musical w. keeeeeeeeeee at the esplanade (:

2010-09-10T00:01:00.001+08:00

airplanes airplanes.
go back to a place much simpler than this.

2010-09-09T20:46:00.001+08:00

dreaddd, dreadd, dreadddd schooool.
just the 1st week alone and i've missed 2 lectures,
still dontknow my way around,
&the list goes on..

darnnnn.
i just dread schoool.
&i've only been t school for 3days.
how am i going t get past 4 years.
dreadddddddd.

2010-08-23T21:21:00.004+08:00

srly srly srly pissed and f-up.
let them get their retribution sooon, please, let them get it real sooon.
be it bankruptcy, death, jail or whatever that shuts their bloody mouths, ignorance and actions.
srly, let them move away. just scram from my family' lives.
please,
let there be justice.
let there be.

i need a breather.

2010-08-05T00:08:00.003+08:00

i am sooooooooooooo lookg forward t school.

yes,
if only that could be true :@@
4years
studyg a course i'm not exactly interestd in.
going in alone until junhao 'supposedly' comes in 2 years l8r.
nicee.

2010-08-04T23:28:00.002+08:00

laughed like nobody's business after work today upon hearing qian's encounters

w. the B_____ @USS

superrrr bonded

:DD

2010-08-03T23:15:00.000+08:00

soya milk spillover at work.

2010-08-03T00:16:00.000+08:00

31st July

HAPPPPY BIRTHDAYYY UMPANN WOMAN :DDD

may all your wishes come true!

2010-07-19T01:08:00.001+08:00

i'm still gr8-ful, for having them around

all of them

babes ♥

2010-07-18T01:39:00.001+08:00

teared :/

2010-07-11T23:53:00.007+08:00

hello kitty nodding 'doll' today. mum's randomm/going to uni gift? haha.
HAAAAAAAAAAPPPPY! :DD
hello hello kitty, hello kitty!

amk hub w. parents

---

miss amk shihlin days as well.
&for a moment, i was even hoping kang, richard, the ex ppl are still workg there :s
i rmbr:
i felt fear of having been assigned there aft knowg the hugeee crowd of customers they have and there being ALLLL guys except for 2aunties &&..? hahaha.
san correctg me on how t cut chicken, on my first day??
kang helpg me t scoop up mee sua/order, almost everytime he's free or with me at the counter, treatg me almost like a younger sister.
all of them teasing me on my first day there and me having no response -.- cause i seriously havent heard them :/
& i guess, the list goes on.. ..
i just miss the time we spent workg tgt?

saw alex and yuching today (:

2010-07-04T14:13:00.002+08:00

you're sucha bitch.
f. you t the max.

2010-06-28T23:24:00.001+08:00

sucha coincidence. HAHA!

:// i'm getting far too easily self-amused.
influenced by keee?! hahaha.

2010-06-25T23:41:00.002+08:00

With the cough around, toilet is becoming my second home :/

2010-06-14T00:50:00.005+08:00

GAVIN!

happy belated belated belated belated belated belated belated belated belated belated belated birthday! :D

LOL.

keep smilinggg and stop being owl-ish!

2010-06-04T00:30:00.001+08:00

screw you sissy/gay bitch!

2010-05-04T22:47:00.000+08:00

'Resolution. Musicians know all about that, dont't they? Pieces of music seek resolution, have t end on a particular note, or it sounds all wrong. The same applies to our lives. It's exactly the same.'

2010-05-03T14:40:00.000+08:00

'And you know, or you should know, that he's not a gentleman. She had known that, of course, and had ignored it because one of the effects of those who are not gentlemen is that one's judgement is overcome. You don't care. But she did not want t think about him now because she realised that time was doing its healing and he seemed t have become more and more distant. And she liked the feeling of forgetting, of the slow conversion into the state of his being just another person, somebody whom she could think about, if he came t mind, without feeling a pang of loss and of longing.'

2010-04-18T23:17:00.002+08:00

'I learned t shut down all my feelings so that none of it mattered - so that it never even happened. Pain is temporary. It goes away if you let your brain go numb.'

2010-04-13T23:56:00.003+08:00

thinking through and through,
i still cant accept how things are now.
why had it all begun and how it all ended.
i feel too fooled,
by fate.

&i'm realising,
being numb isnt all that helpful afterall.
its somehow suffocating.
blocking surroundings and certain emotions out,
it makes one feel kinda

lifeless.

2010-04-12T23:28:00.003+08:00

while i was having a small small short short conversation in chinese with my colleague, carol today,

one of the staffs overheard us and asked carol: SHE knows how t speak chinese?!! (pointing at me)

...
&its not as if the staff havent spoke t me earlier on.

do i really loook soo much of a malay?!
i'm certainly fairer now! haha.
so whats the similarity?
her question reminds me soo much of the mj malay stall auntie who thought i was a malay as well.
&&another staff who asked carol last friday? -- SHE's a chinese? (referring t me again)
...

2010-04-02T00:50:00.002+08:00

this time round, i felt lost, guilty and utter bitchy.
its getting hard, really hard.
&i gotta admit, i'm desperately needing a job t keep my mind off things.

2010-03-21T12:30:00.003+08:00

爱是不夜城
回忆像星辰
热泪越沸腾
我越感觉有点冷
变了心的人
越想越伤人
枯坐到清晨
阳光替房间开了灯

想若结局一样
又何苦再想
伤若让人成长
我为什么怕分手的伤

解脱是肯承认这是个错
我不应该还不放手
你有自由走我有自由好好过
解脱是懂擦干泪看以后
找个新方向往前走
这世界辽阔
我总会实现一个梦

想像结局一样
又何苦再想
伤若让人成长
我为什么怕分手的伤

解脱是肯承认这是个错
我不应该还不放手
你有自由走我有自由好好过

心里有一种渴望勇敢的念头
不要爱我的人再担心我

解脱是肯承认这是个错
我不应该还不放手
你有自由走我有自由好好过
解脱是懂擦干泪看以后
找个新方向往前走
这世界辽阔
我总会实现一个梦

2010-03-14T02:11:00.001+08:00

I'm so scared that you will see
All the weakness inside of me
I'm so scared of letting go
That the pain I've hid will show

I know you want to hear me speak
But I'm afraid that if I start to
I'll never stop

[c h o r u s]
I want you to know
You belong in my life
I love the hope
I see in your eyes
For you I would fly
At least I would try
For you I'll take
The last flight out

I'm afraid that
You will leave
As my secrets
Have been revealed
In my dreams
You'll always stay
Every breathing moment from now

I know you want to hear me speak
But I'm afraid that if I start to
I'll never stop

[c h o r u s]

I cannot hold back
The truth no more
I let you wait too long
Although it's hard and scares me so
A life without you scares me more

[c h o r u s]

2010-03-10T01:37:00.001+08:00

no one said its going t be easy.

2010-03-04T01:05:00.004+08:00

one more day :/

2010-03-02T23:28:00.000+08:00

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away

And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do

2010-03-02T00:55:00.003+08:00

i dont even know what t make out of this r/s anymore.
feeling tired emotionally but yet not knowing what t do.
i need a break, from everything seriously.
there's the urge -
t stay away from home just for one whole day and be alone,
get myself drunk,
shut my lungs out at some remote but not absolutely deserted nor scary area,
make the decision.
i need t clear doubts. for real, they are driving me crazy and leaving me helpless.
i need some time w. you.
i'm tryingg, trying my hardest - not t think, not t hold any expectations that always seems t fail me and leave me totally disappointed, feeling like a fool.
i'm trying t loook up at elmo everyday first thing first in the morning and smile back t him, hoping t hold that smile for the rest of the day.
but these efforts fail.
i need answers and assurance.

2010-03-01T01:17:00.000+08:00

The way you make me feel so adored

Wish you'd bring me candies when I feel lonely
Dream that you were my husband-to-be
In 365, all I ask is one, name it after me

Wish you'd write my name on your favourite palm tree
Look in my eyes, love is all you can see
Night and day I dream that things are the way before
Will you love me more

Where, when and why did you make me cry
Loneliness has become another part of life
Tears running strong and angels have gone
Don't know how to carry on

Baby I need you now
I need your arms to hold me tight tonight
Please turn the lights down low
And feel my body glow, whisper and flow

Baby I need you now
I need your strength to hold me down tonight
The world is out of sight
Cause you are all that I've been searching for
The way you make me feel adored

2010-02-26T01:02:00.000+08:00

2010-01-26T00:41:00.002+08:00

seriously been short-tempered these days :/

2010-01-19T00:51:00.003+08:00

finally met up w. vanessa, aft such a longggg period of 6-7 years. rly made me think alot.
she's someone i know i'm going t look up t.
her maturity and everything else, its rly new t me.
&it sinks into me how naive and childish i've been for my age.
its time for changes.

2010-01-18T01:10:00.000+08:00

moving on,
let it be a wise decision.

2010-01-15T00:51:00.001+08:00

dontknow what t do.

2010-01-08T01:25:00.002+08:00

h8 being maligned &having the feeling i'm going t get fooled again anytime.

2010-01-07T00:48:00.001+08:00

dark circles.
pleaseeeee, get out of my life :(

2010-01-06T02:20:00.000+08:00

2010-01-01T17:24:00.001+08:00

happy
happy
happy
happy
happy
HAPPYYY 2010! :D

2009-12-30T23:00:00.001+08:00

shaggged. shaggged. shaggggged.

2009-12-27T15:47:00.003+08:00

cycling yest at ECP made me admit t the fact that i need t starttt exercising!

2009-12-15T22:55:00.001+08:00

i sooo want to go for leeminho's asian fans meeting on 21st :(

- the distinct difference between the rich and the less well-off -

2009-12-07T12:59:00.001+08:00

back to SG! :D

2009-11-25T17:00:00.000+08:00

shooo ulcers, shoooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

2009-11-25T00:42:00.003+08:00

joggging today was a waste. totallyy :(
ate loads of fried beehoon, nutella aft the jogg.
&ate mac fries not long ago. darnn!
--- comeon! i need to show leesooonhui i can perservere and slim downnn toooo!
&&& the jogging itself was not successful at all for me.
- even before the jog, the soles of my shoes came out! {photos up nexttime} -.-
- &ran a short distance only :s

nonetheless, sure glad to see jamie aft sooooooooooooooooooooolong! (:
&am excited to see babes tmr! yeahhness! bitching time :D

2009-11-23T00:09:00.001+08:00

high tea buffet at pu tien (:

2009-11-18T18:16:00.003+08:00

give me a miracle for my Alevels results.
i am having doubts about even passing it.

2009-11-13T20:53:00.005+08:00

i'm screwed. big time.
3 subjects down. and all goner.
it was really the firsttttttttttt time i'd breakdown during a paper. and that was for my first paper.
blooody f-up with myself.
i really really really need a miracle to make it to uni; so let there be one.
&please, let the rest of my papers be manageable for me.
thats all i can say.

2009-11-07T00:45:00.000+08:00

hope i'll be able to go on a hiatus till 23rd.
that is, free from cyberworlddd!

2009-11-06T23:51:00.006+08:00

9th.
please please please, bless me.
i'm soo unprepared.
using 3-4 days just to prepare for my first paper.
:(
blame it all on my discipline prob.
but please, i rrrly do not want to disappoint them anymore.
i'll work hardddd and please give me a miracle.

2009-11-04T00:05:00.004+08:00

Take a breath
I pull myself together
Just another step till
I reach the door
You'll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you
I wish that I could tell you something
To take it all away

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there're so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

When I hear your voice
Its drowning in a whisper
It's just skin and bones
There's nothing left to take
And no matter what I do I can't make you feel better
If only I could find the answer
To help me understand

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there're so many things that I want you to know
I wont give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

That if you fall, stumble down
I'll pick you up off the ground
If you lose faith in youI
'll give you strength to pull through
Tell me you won't give up cause I'll be waiting if you fall
Oh you know I'll be there for you

(Ahahaha)
If only I could find the answer
To take it all away

Sometimes i wish i could save you
And there're so many things that I want you to know
I wont give up till it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know
(Oh)
I wish I could save you
I want you to know
(Ohohh)
I wish I could save you (oh)

.sometimes, i need to save myself, especaily at times like this.

2009-11-03T23:24:00.001+08:00

da cal, may be going bugis tmr to repair you if plausible and if the shop allows me to.
soo wish me luck.

2009-11-01T23:23:00.001+08:00

i'm not managing it ssrly :(

secret

2009-11-01T18:15:00.001+08:00

intensity :(

2009-10-31T00:15:00.005+08:00

loss, regret, cherish.

- fathers and sons

&please, let da cal (graphic calulator) be alright sooon.

i neeed youuuuuuuuuuuuu!

2009-10-29T01:03:00.004+08:00

if only, my dreams are about what i am supposed to study - the content and everything i am suppose to prepare for As.
i would have finished atleast 3/4 of my revision by now.

wishful thinking. thats what elo always says abt me before papers.
but still, if only that comes true.

2009-10-28T23:44:00.001+08:00

suddenly got reminded of the game
'concentration, concentration.
this is a game of concentration.'

2009-10-28T22:08:00.002+08:00

yes, color me.

2009-10-25T21:30:00.002+08:00

the amount of time i am sleeping &distracted, its really pulling me even further away from making it for my As :(

2009-10-24T23:34:00.000+08:00

shilang.

2009-10-23T21:21:00.002+08:00

lee min ho is coming sg tmrrrrrrrrrrrrr !!!! :(

2009-10-22T01:18:00.000+08:00

cut my hair :/

2009-10-18T23:58:00.001+08:00

dear, move on.

2009-10-18T22:31:00.004+08:00

2009-10-17T23:30:00.003+08:00

ending soooon.

--sweetness.

like his hair (:

2009-10-17T01:28:00.002+08:00

ends.

huo yan, huo da, jiadi.

and i missed the part i wanted to watch/know the mostttttttt. darn!

.
when a decision have to be made between two children.

2009-10-16T23:57:00.000+08:00

the difference between impossible and possible is DETERMINATION

2009-10-15T22:59:00.004+08:00

people-watching shows me the simple element of caring, even for strangers.
giving up seats on buses to the disadvantaged &kids.
simple act but really a heart-warming gesture.
it serves as a constant reminder that the society is not that much self-centered after all.

2009-10-13T22:24:00.004+08:00

2009-10-06T22:54:00.005+08:00

my ulcer's hurting like shit :s
3rd one in 2/3 weeks? shooo.

-- a mixture of guilt and touched today.
the sweetness i felt, its been a longgg time since.
just a cup of milo and crackers, does it all.
as simple as that.
thanks mr hon (:
you really made my day.

2009-10-04T21:43:00.000+08:00

2009-10-01T01:12:00.002+08:00

I wish I could Bubble Wrap my heart,
In case I fall and break apart,
I'm not God I can't change the stars,
And I don't know if there's life on Mars,
But I know you hurt,
The people that you love and those who care for you,
I want nothing to do with the things you're going through.

This is the last time,
I give up this heart of mine,
I'm telling you that I'm,
A broken man who's finally realised,
You're standing in moonlight,
But you're black on the inside, Who-oo-oo-oo
Do you think you are to cry?
This is goodbye.

I'm a little dazed and confused,
But life's a bitch and so are you,
All my days have turned into nights,
Cos living without, without, without you in my life,
And you wrote the book on how to be a liar,
And lose all your friends,
Did I mean nothing at all?
Was I just another ghost that's been in your bed?

Cos this is the last time,
I give up this heart of mine,
I'm telling you that I'm,
A broken man who's finally realised,
You're standing in moonlight,
But you're black on the inside,
Who-oo-oo-oo
Do you think you are to cry?
This is goodbye.

Yeah!
Turn on the radio honey,
Cos every single sad song you'll be able to relate!
And this one i dedicate!

Whoa oh!
Don't get all emotional baby,
You can never talk to me,
You're unable to communicate!

This is the last time,
I give up this heart of mine,
I'm telling you that I'm,
A broken man who's finally realised...

This is the last time,
I give up this heart of mine,
I'm telling you that I'm,
A broken man who's finally realised,
You're standing in moonlight,
But you're black on the inside,
Who-oo-oo-oo
Do you think you are to cry?
This is goodbye.

This is Goodbye.

2009-09-29T23:12:00.001+08:00

one day, i'll like to do just that.

looking far ahead over the citylights.

just that.

2009-09-29T23:09:00.000+08:00

2009-09-26T23:28:00.005+08:00

i waaaaaaaaannt lannnnnnnterns !!!!!
both music and paper oneeeeeeeeeeeees :x
fun comes to mind just hearing kids playing with them.
really love midautumn festival.
there's mooncakes to eat, more kids' laughter! lights all around to admire & fulll moooooon! (:

on the side note to self:
ohx, START studyingggg!
&startt reading newspapers!!!

2009-09-26T00:31:00.001+08:00

when it all boils down to

2009-09-21T22:16:00.000+08:00

sometimes,
i really miss malaysia.

2009-09-20T22:39:00.002+08:00

ohh, and tmrr! ohx, must start studyinng alrrr!
please, stop me from waking up duper latee, eat lesss and tv lesss. i've really been behaving like a deadass pigggg :s